When things go wrong

This week didn't end very well for me. It started out very exciting and busy, but ended with a huge reality check.

Thursday was the first day of our annual church women's conference. A very big event hosted in the Sydney Entertainment Centre with over 15,000 girls attending the two conference events from around the world.

I have had the opportunity to help out behind the scenes in the conference registrations department. Slightly understaffed, the area is a high paced environment with overwhelming volumes of emails and calls to manage each day. Over the last 6 months I have felt that I had really got a hold of the work required and have been able to bring my best computer and organisational skills to the team to assist them with handling what is required of us each day.

Therefore it came as quite a shock to realise on Friday that I may have been the sole reason that a few ladies may have missed out on a wonderful conference experience. Without going into too much detail, a small issue with using incorrect computer codes when making phone bookings, may have resulted in wrong decisions being made ultimately impacting a few delegates travel arrangements.

I had a sleepless night on Friday. I felt physically sick. I cried.

It was unfathomable that a mistake like that could have been made by me. Me! The one who is always so diligent in doing the right thing. The one who always follows up a query to make sure all the "i"'s are dotted and no misunderstandings occur.

Me. I did it.

And there was nothing I could do to undo it. I didn't know the names of the ladies affected and didn't know where they lived. I couldn't walk up to them and apologise. I just have to live with it. Live with the fact that I may have ruined their wonderful trip.

It took me all of 2 days to accept this fact. I'm not sure what will happen next week when I walk into the office and they realise it was me. I'm not even sure if the team managed to salvage the situation or if we have a few irate letters coming our way after conference.

All I know is that it was a mistake. A nasty one. But an unintentional mistake. One that is deeply regretted. I have had my chat with God. I have asked Him for grace. Because I am not sure why this has happened - but in eternity, I am sure this will all make sense and I need to give over to Him the worries I have in this world. And having endless sleepless nights is not going to help my purpose in life that He has planned for me. I have to accept the fact that He also walks with those other ladies that may have had a horrible week stranded without transport and that He will make a way for them.

I have to trust that He is God. And I am fallable. I am not perfect. I just do my best. And sometimes my best falls short because of human nature. But God understands. God is still in control. And I have learnt how to use this knowledge to make sure it doesn't happen again so that more girls will have transport in future to make it to a conference to hear about our amazing God.

So - I will put the past behind me and look toward the future. And toward more women that will be lucky enough to call me in the registrations department next time to take their bookings. The right way.