Territorial issues

I totally believe that we are individuals and should be able to make our own decisions in life. However, I also understand that we are not doing life alone, and that each decision we make will have an impact on others.

This is why we cannot make decisions without considering those around us. Yes - we should be able to function on our own, with independent choices, but usually there are 2 different views on a situation. Neither of them are right or wrong, but our circumstances in life influences the way that we perceive the situation. Unless this is talked through prior to decisions being made it may result in territorial issues.

Take for instance a small decision like employing domestic cleaners. Not a real life problem, right? Wrong. Even small, insignificant decisions like these, made without the consultation of impacted parties may be disastrous.

My dear husband, out of the best place in his heart, with love for his house & wife, had decided that his home is in need of domestic cleaners. The whole idea, with our change in work-life-balance was that I would be at home, looking after the housework whilst he remains breadwinner. We therefor graciously let go of our external domestic help.

Initially a great idea. However - life happens.

Since being away from employed work, I have been blessed with the opportunity of helping our church in areas where my natural administration skills are of great assistance. I have been managing the housework around these commitments. Clearly not as intended though to have a full housecleaning day each week. Each day was rather spend in cleaning a section of the house, ie. The area in most need. Whether this was the laundry, the toilets, the bathrooms or the carpets. It just depended on the amount of time to my disposal.

I felt that although the house was not sparkling (except of course when we had visitors) it was generally cleaned when in need.

Clearly, I have been alone in this thought. Clearly, my husband felt the need for a sparkling clean house at least weekly.

Therein does not lie the problem though, as I can see his need for a clean house. Admittedly we have never shared his passion for ultimate pristine hospital grade cleanliness, (after having 2 kids & realizing the futility of this passion, I have given up) but it is a wonderful feeling to have that at least once in a while.

Hence, I had no qualm about re-employing help. What I do have a problem with, was the proceeding ambush with which the decision was delivered.
A) Re-hiring the previous cleaners without consulting dearest wife.
B) Not informing said wife until the evening before said cleaners were due to arrive.
C) Not informing said wife until 10pm that said cleaners would be arriving at 7am the next morning.

If any of you out there has domestic cleaners (and I am not talking about the live-in type, as that is a totally different kettle of fish) you would understand the term "clean before the cleaners". That is the exercise of actually picking up all the crap your children have inadvertently left lying about the house and putting it away, as the cleaners may either vacuum it into oblivion, or pack it away somewhere where you will only find it again once you move house.

I was therefor scrambling around just prior to midnight getting the house in order for The Big Clean.

So now our house has domestic cleaners again. Wonderful to have the help.

Next time, I'd really like to be considered in these type of decisions that really sits 100% in my territory. Because overstepping the boundaries, even when well intended, may mean that one miss vital information that you would not normally consider.

The downside of these cleaners are that they are the type that leaves your tiles & carpets clean, but everything else around it in disarray. Heaven help us if there was something in the way of the vacuum. You may now find it on the fridge...

But I think possibly the biggest adjustment to the situation is that they are only available on the one day where I have no out of house commitments and therefor the day I may be hanging around the house unpacking cupboards, or in need of a shower after excercising. All of which now I'll be doing whilst constantly considering other people are in the house. Not the relaxed quite day at home I really needed to refresh the spirit.

I may be hanging out in coffee shops more on Fridays now. Keep an eye out for me.