Sharing is good... or is it?

New mums all struggle trying to constantly remind their little ones to 'share'. It is a social skill that we need to ensure we fit in. It is also the basic belief that we need to ensure we have a community that cares for each other. Ultimately, if we can't learn how to share, how will we ever learn how to give away and sacrifice to help those in greater need?

But are there limits to sharing? And when is it appropriate, if ever, to be selfish?

Take for example a new toy. Is it fair to expect of a child to share their brand new birthday present with all their party friends? Complications arise, such as, what if the new toy is broken even before the receiver has had a turn to play with it? Surely, under certain circumstances, putting away things, or being selfish and not share, is acceptable?

As a mum I certainly know that I won't be sharing my brand new iPhone with my children. Although I have noticed a lot of parents have resorted to using this as the latest way of entertaining children whilst out and about, I still regard this as an item of value and will not be allowing my children, who, according to law, is not considered responsible for their actions before the age of seven, to fiddle around with it and accidentally drop it. Surely this could be regarded as not sharing?

This afternoon my daughter had a disagreement with the neighbour's little girl. They were both riding their bikes and all of a sudden, the neighbour's daughter felt her bike was of lesser status than my daughter's and abandoned it. She promptly insisted on riding my daughter's bike. The request was delivered with a very confident expectation and a slight aura of demand in her posture. My daughter, however, likes her bike.

So here's the dilemma - do I : (a) insist that my daughter gets off her bike and gives it to the other child, just because she insists, or (b) tell the other child to get back on her own bike and ask her mum for a new one for Christmas?

As my daughter is 2 years older, fortunately the other bike was too small, and I had no choice but to refuse and re-instate the own bike status quo. I have to admit though, I felt very comfortable with this decision. And I have asked myself why?

I have come to the following conclusion: Sharing is only good if it is giving freely and not forced upon an individual. The value of sharing needs to be instilled in all people, but we need to be given the choice of what and when we want to share. And possibly, I anticipate, the more we share, the more we would want to share.

The same goes for love. Love cannot be forced upon a person, but has to be earnt freely before it is of real true value.

May we all learn to expect less of each other and demand nothing, in the hope that in return we will be blessed with lots of love and sharing.